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Co-sleeping: perché non fa male a bimbo e genitori

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Co-sleeping

Far dormire i bambini nel letto dei genitori fa male oppure no?
È vero che il co-sleeping è pericoloso per la salute fisica ed emotiva dei bambini? Oppure il co-sleeping viene sconsigliato solo per un retaggio culturale?
I dubbi più comuni sul far dormire i bambini nel lettone sono la sicurezza dei bambini, la loro maturazione emotiva e l’intimità della coppia. Ma c’è anche chi sostiene che questa pratica sia sbagliata solo per un pregiudizio culturale.
Molti di noi evitano di portare i bambini a dormire nel lettone per paura che poi prendano il vizio e che non diventino abbastanza sicuri di loro stessi. Ma probabilmente è la nostra cultura che, a partire dagli anni 70, con l’introduzione del latte artificiale, ha professato una maggiore e prematura autonomia dei bambini. La maggior parte delle culture del mondo basa l’accudimento dei piccoli proprio sul contatto fisico.

Co-sleeping perché fa bene

Il contatto fisico trasmette ai bambini un maggiore senso di sicurezza e serve a creare un buon attaccamento. Questo tipo di vicinanza è ancora più importante in relazione alla costruzione di un legame tra il piccolo ed il papà.
Il co-sleeping inoltre favorisce l’allattamento al seno. Non solo la mamma è più comoda ad allattare sdraiata nel suo letto. Dormire insieme facilita l’allattamento a richiesta.

Uno studio della Stony Brook University di New York ha evidenziato come non ci sia differenza comportamentale tra i bambini che dormono soli e quelli che condividono il letto con i genitori. La ricerca ha preso in esame 944 coppie abituate a dormire con i proprio figli. I bambini osservati non hanno manifestato alcun disagio psicologico o relazionale rispetto ai loro coetanei che dormono da soli.
Ancora, secondo Margot Sunderland, nota psicologa infantile inglese, i bambini che praticano co-sleeping avrebbero maggiori probabilità di diventare adulti equilibrati. Al contrario, invece, per i piccoli sottoposti al pianto prolungato ci sarebbero più alte possibilità che diventino adulti stressati.

Co-sleeping perché non fa male

Alcuni psicologi ritengono il co-sleeping dannoso sia per la stabilità mentale del bimbo. In particolare alcuni sostengono che il piccolo che dorme con i suoi genitori non sia capace di rendersi indipendente.
Tuttavia il fatto che i bambini acquisiscano autonomia attraverso il distacco non è provato scientificamente. Lo stesso Esitivill del metodo “Fate la nanna” non cita ricerche a riguardo. Al contrario, Bowlby, teorico dell’attaccamento, sostiene che il co-sleeping, è nella natura umana.

co-sleeping

Alcuni medici sconsigliano il sonno condiviso per ragioni di sicurezza, specie quando il bimbo è molto piccolo. Sebbene non ci sia alcuna particolare incidenza di questa pratica rispetto ai casi di morte accidentale, strangolamento, soffocamento o SIDS, il co-sleeping necessità di alcune precauzioni. È bene non far dormire mai il piccolo ai bordi del letto senza una protezione dal pavimento. Non ci devono essere varchi tra il materasso ed il bordo del letto, così come tra il letto ed il muro. Non si devono usare cuscini o coperte troppo voluminosi per coprire il neonato. Bisogna scegliere una posizione che permetta al bambino di respirare bene e di stare comodo. Tuttavia tali accortezze sono indicate anche per i bambini che dormono da soli.

Co-sleeping e intimità di coppia

Se la decisione di far dormire il bimbo nel lettone è condivisa, non è vero che la coppia perde intimità.
Una coppia affiatata può trovare altri modi e tempi di rivolgersi attenzioni sessuali. Il rapporto emotivo familiare invece può trarre beneficio dal dormire insieme al proprio figlio.
Il bambino capirà presto quando sarà il momento di tornare o cominciare a dormire da solo. Probabilmente crescendo acquisterà maggiore sicurezza, spinto anche dal fatto di non stare più fisicamente comodo.
Tutto dipende però dal carattere dei genitori e del bambino. Le decisioni devono essere valutate insieme rispetto all’inclinazione di ognuno. Non tutti i bimbi dormono con i genitori eppure hanno un riposo sereno e continuato.

Il sonno dei bambini ha caratteristiche personali, spesso svincolate dalle pratiche dei genitori.
Alcune volte invece, il comportamento dei genitori può incidere nel sonno dei bambini. Se ad esempio nostro figlio si sveglia perché ha paura, probabilmente dormire insieme a noi lo tranquillizzerà. Il co-spleeping non è la soluzione giusta per tutte le famiglie né per tutti i bambini. Tuttavia non ci sono motivi particolari per sostenere che il co-sleeping faccia male. Anzi dormire insieme spesso ha tanti aspetti positivi e piacevoli per tutta la famiglia.

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